Sunshine was certainly dealt a difficult deck and I hate the fact that she was placed with us because wound up in foster care. Meaning, I so wish her first 3 and a half years had been so very different allowing her to consistently live with safe and loving family. However, I am thankful for her time with us, as difficult as it was.
She was dealing with a lot of trauma and I suspect she always will in some ways. This meant that she had many, many appointments and visits weekly, as well as, many behavioral challenges. Sleep was very difficult for her and one of us slept next to her every single night for the 6 months she was part of our family. For these reasons, and the fact that she had a sibling in care in another foster home, we knew she needed more than she was getting in our home. Being told from the get go that this would be a short placement we prayed for a wise decision to be made as to the best placement. And quickly. There were a couple out-of-state background studies being conducted with extended family, but it became apparent that there was no end in sight for that process. During the winter we began pushing for her to be moved to the family that had her brother as they were wanting her and adoption motivated. Our thought being, if they were not able to be with biological family, this would be the next best thing. Our case worker and the kids' case worker were also pushing for this as everyone agreed it would be the best place for the kids. Unfortunately the system doesn't always work the way you think it should and the dates for this moved where pushed back repeatedly and the longer she was part of our family the harder it would be for everyone. At their court hearing in early April the decision was made by the judge to go ahead and move Little Miss in with her brother.
We tried to transition her as smoothly as possible. Thankfully we all had a relationship with the family and she had been to their house many times. We love this family and were confident they would love Sunshine well.
I love this pic of Little Miss reading with her sibling. Wish you could see how they gaze at one another!
She came to us with one bag of a few items provided by CPS (nothing of her own). We sent her on with a suitcase, backpack, 5 tubs, dollhouse, scooter, trike, carseat, and a pink unicorn!
As I'm sure you can imagine there were all sorts of feels happening during the transition. All in all, I think she had some understanding of what was happening and did pretty well. She was able to see and help us pack up all of her things and bring them to the new house. When I left her that morning, she said, "Bye, Mommy!" and pushed me toward the door- she didn't like seeing any of us get emotional! But that made me feel good that she was comfortable and confident in her new house.
We got a call less than 3 weeks later that both Sunshine and her sibling would be moving out of state as rights were given to extended family. I am heart broken that she had to make that additional move for such a short while and heart broken for the foster family that had to say goodbye to both kids. I am hopeful that this is the best situation for the kids. It seems clear that they will be able to have a relationship with many biological relatives. The statistics are pretty clear that kids do best with biological family in almost all circumstances so this should be the best thing for everyone. Both the extended family and the kids' mom have been gracious, appreciative, and kept in contact with us. For that we are thankful. We will hope and pray for Little Miss Sunshine every day of our lives, as well as, her sibling, mom, grandparents, and extended family.
joined_video_2a48b9bc184e4567a08f28a07f5580cf from Steve Nelson on Vimeo.
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