Foster Care Family

This certificate and a few other documents are now posted in our home!

I'm going to attempt to get down as much of the story as I can here, but I'm sure there will be other things I will go more into detail about later.  I'm also certain our views, beliefs and thoughts will change and grow as we really get into the trenches and build relationships.  I'm hoping to continue to blog here about our foster care experiences, but may do that in another space down the road just depending on how everything plays out.  I'm also realizing I need to be better about documenting this process with more pictures!

Steve and I never officially closed the door on having more kids but we also never got to a point where we were eager to add to our family.  As the girls got older trying to have another baby seemed less and less likely, but we still didn't feel as if our family was complete.  Somehow a year (plus) ago, the topic of foster care came up (probably related to our church which is very pro-foster care).  We have become more and more aware of the desperate need for loving families to care for families that are unable to thrive without support.  We hesitate to use the term "called" but foster care is definitely something that we are choosing because of our faith in Jesus and the grace we've been given that we are blessed and able to share with others.  Both of us individually kept thinking about foster care and a couple weeks after it initially came up, we talked about exploring the idea further.

In July of 2017 we attended our first foster care informational meeting at CPS here in Waco.  After that meeting we did a lot of research and asking questions, even meeting with other foster parents in attempt to figure out what we wanted to do.  There are private agencies you can go through, but we felt fostering straight through CPS was the best fit for us.

The next step was taking the series of PRIDE classes which we didn't get started until October of 2017.  The classes were in the evenings and on the weekends where we learned an overview of the foster care system and roles and responsibilities of foster parents, as well as, a little bit about how to care for children who have experienced trauma.  As we were taking the classes we were also gathering a ton of documents that needed to be submitted to CPS including proof of income, a budget, insurance information, detailed information about our home and neighborhood, marriage certificates, diplomas, medical documents, etc.  We also had get a fire and health inspection completed on our home, get fingerprinted, have the entire family get a TB test, install a fire extinguisher in the kitchen, and name many references.  Ruby wondered why she and Ada weren't important enough for us to take all of the safety measures we had to take for a foster child!!!  We filled out binders full of paperwork and had several home visits from our amazing case worker.  Because of Steve's work travel in the fall and the holidays, we finished up our classes and first aid and CPR certification in January and then waited and waited and waited some more.  The final step was a detailed, 4-hour family study which we did in March.  An independent case worker came to our house and interviewed all four of us about anything and everything you can imagine.  After that we waited and waited and waited some more.  We have tried to be very patient and trust that everything will happen in the right timing because we know that to be true and we know working with the foster care system will likely always be slow and include a lot of unknowns.  We officially got our foster care/adoption certification for a boy or girl aged 0 to 5 in May of 2018.

Yes, we are certified to both foster and adopt through CPS and we have been asked several times if we ultimately hope to adopt.  Our answer isn't short, but I think it's important.  The goal for a child taken out of their home into CPS care is always reunification.  From what I have read and what I understand of the research, children are more successful when able to stay with their birth families as long as that is a safe and loving place to be (and sometimes even if it's not the safest or most loving home).  (This makes sense when you consider the disruption of taking a child out of their home, away from their family and everything they know is another trauma in a child's life in and of itself.)  This is why the goal of each case is to have the birth parents work services and end in reunification.  Because of this we truly believe as foster parents we must be advocates of families and reunification and if our end goal is adoption that is a huge conflict of goals.  All that being said, obviously reunification is not always possible or best for a child or family.  In that case we are open to adoption should a placement lead to that.  So this whole adventure may or may not lead to permanently adding another child to our family.  And we are currently okay with that.

Over the past 8 months or so, I've slowly converted our playroom to a fourth bedroom.   This meant first finding room for all of our games, crafts and toys elsewhere in the house.  I wasn't too upset about losing the playroom since it was pretty much always a disaster!  Figuring out what to put in a room that would be appropriate for a baby all the way up to a preschooler was a bit of a challenge though.  We ended up buying a stacked bed that can work as one twin size bed, two separate twin size beds, or one queen size bed (for guests).  We still have our pack-n-play so we can use that if we get a baby and will buy a crib if/when needed.  I got a hand-me-down changing table and some baskets for clothes to be used as a dresser for the time being.  We still have a lot of baby/toddler gear and plenty of toys and books.

A new bed for a new family member!

Glass doors marked for safety, but still aesthetically pleasing!

A sweet bed ready for a sweet someone!

IMG_4729 from Steve Nelson on Vimeo.

So right now we are just waiting for a phone call.  We got our first call a week or two after our license but they placed the child with someone else.  From what I've read/heard that can happen often.  While  our hope is that there aren't any children who need to be placed in a foster home, we are ready when a little one needs a safe home!